Five things ruminating in my noggin. Do you care about these things? Probably not, but it's my blog and you will deal!
One Cent
I can't for the life of me figure out why Deborah Cox and RL couldn't be lovers...
I fully understand why they couldn't be friends if they couldn't be lovers; believe me, been there and done that! But judging by the lyrics, err'body in this situation is devastated over this separation: mama, cousins, friends, ERR'BODY! (Though I'm side-eyeing mama still having dude over for Sunday dinner.) So along this boulevard of broken dreams, with all the weeping and wailing of this forlorn duet, they never explain why they couldn't be lovers. Go on, listen to the song and tell me if you can figure it out. I know it's 20 years later, but I need answers damn it!
Two Cents
I'm not sure how to say this, or whether I should disclose such private personal information, or not; but, umm...
I'm over 40 and my deodorant doesn't work anymore!!! Now, I'm not 16 year old boy post-basketball practice musty. It's somewhere between just arriving at work and wondering if I forgot to put it on and "I'm 3 minutes into a 30 minute cardio routine". Not musty, but not fresh and I feel a way about it! This degree is not holding up it's end of the bargain! It's as effective as my liberal arts degree right now, and that ain't saying much. Is it just me, or y'all having this problem, too? We need to start a support group, but online only, since we all on the cusp of funky.
Trois Cent
BET does provide me with award shows and classic black films and sitcoms to play in the background while I wash dishes or take my braids down. It's a basic cable channel that serves its basic black ass purpose.
But what I ain't finna do is pay y'all a streaming service fee to watch Madea Goes to the Currency Exchange, I'm a Successful Black Woman with A Tragic Flaw that Can Only Be Healed by a Light-Skinned Dude with a Minimum Wage Job, Stilted Dialogue vs. Recycled Jokes, or whatever other trite Tyler Perry Production is in the works at BET+! I desperately want to watch Tracy Oliver's First Wives' Club, but I refuse to pay money to have access to Baby Boy or Acrimony at all times, no ma'am and no sir, I will not!
Cent Quatro
I've never felt more seen by a meme in my whole life. This constant war on my waistline is wearying! I wanna do burpees and go to brunch! Tricep dips and tortilla chips are keeping me from being great and I'm sick of it! My gym is within a block of Wendy's, Popeyes, and Chick Fil A, but chest presses and chicken sandwiches don't go together and I wanna know why?!?!! Calories are not Christ-like and I need to seek Baby Jesus on how to deal with my flesh and fast food.
And the Nickel!
Fell down a youtube rabbit hole one day and kept seeing the word "mukbang". Now, I never clicked on any of the videos because I thought it was something similar to bukkake and I ain't wanna see that. Huh? How do I know what bukkake is? Nunya, business, I ain't always been saved...
But apparently mukbang is a person recording themselves eating ridiculous amounts of food. That's it. People watch videos of other people shoveling copious amounts of food into their mouths, and apparently its a lucrative endeavor! But on the flip side, there are folks writing think pieces fat-shaming Nike for using plus-sized mannequins and questioning whether body positivity leads to unhealthy lifestyles. Lizzo's authenticity is in question, but a 98 lbs soaking wet woman can get paid for eating a troth of crab legs? #thisisamerica
Alright, that's the whole Jefferson, Bye!