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Twilight Zone Adjacent

I had the most ridiculously random exchange at a meeting today and I just need to tell y'all about it.

Setting: Management Team meeting, I'm there representing the property manager.

Manager 1: Any topics to add to the agenda?

Manager 2: Looks directly at me, "Birds".


Meeting begins, I'm questioning my life choices because I hate meetings and I'm only here because I have to be. After about 30 minutes of meandering self-important updates from other managers, Manager 1 calls for Manager 2 to take flight with her topic (see what I did there?)

Manager 2: Ok, we were in a meeting yesterday and a bird flew into the window and died!


Manager 2: I'm just wondering what the building can do about it?

Me: (because in my mind this is most assuredly a joke) Would you like us to build parapets, turrets and set gargoyles atop them?

Manager 2: Well, not that extreme, maybe a picture of a predator, maybe an owl.

Me: (because I'm STILL waiting on the punchline) Ok, sure, are we talking the Tootsie Pop owl, or something more lifelike? I'm thinking a 20x20 poster of Hoots the Owl from Sesame Street...

Manager 3: Well this is one of their migration patterns and thousands of birds die here because of the tall buildings...

At this point I'm realizing these mofos are serious! Like, for real about this!

Manager 4: I heard about this nonprofit on NPR that does the glare screens in skyscrapers because so many birds fly into...

I'm done listening because I'm almost positive that I'm being hazed since this is the first time I've attended this meeting.

Manager 2: Oh, that's a good idea, something reflective so they avoid the windows.

Me: (now I'm mad because, what?!) Does this non-profit pay for the screens, or are you as the tenant going to cover the cost?

Now err'body quiet when the money discussion comes up.

Manager 1: Let's move on to the next topic.


Random voice in the back of the room: Was the bird brown?

If I wasn't in the Twilight Zone, I was certainly Twilight Zone Adjacent!

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1 Comment

Helena Smith
Helena Smith
May 20, 2019

Oh this is funny because I think I just read about a meeting regarding birds.

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