Way More Jangle than Jingle

A plague of musical proportions is upon us!

Well, Halloween has come and gone, which means it's ChristmaHannuKwanzakuhgiving according to the would of retail. If you doubt me, just walk into any Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree or Target, you'll be bowled over by boughs of holly!

And please, don't get me wrong, I'm no grinch, I love Christmas: Baby Jesus is the subject of my first book, my love is legit! It's available on Amazon, check it out!

It's a journal, you'll love it!

What I can't stand is the onslaught of Christmas/Holiday music! And it's not all of them, I can deal with 13 versions of Silent Night, tho' The Temptations version is just over 6 minutes of #blackexcellence. And sleigh bells don't exist until I hear Donny's This Christmas - #GOAT (not debatable).

But what I can't abide are the cries for help masquerading as holiday cheer! I will argue this point to the Supreme Court: adding the word Christmas to a song does not make it a Christmas song.

I repeat for the people in the cheap seats: SAYING THE WORD CHRISTMAS IN THE LYRICS DOES NOT A CHRISTMAS SONG MAKE!

I will prove my point with 2 songs that are on repeat from November 1 - December 26 on Black radio across the country:

Exhibit #1: The O'Jay's - Christmas Just Ain't Christmas

It's up tempo, there are sleigh bells, and just enough holly jolly to convince the discerning listener that this song is indeed about the joys of the holiday... except it's not! She gone! He's reminiscing about the great times they had that no longer exist. I don't care what the trumpets make you feel, it's a miserable break up song. A lump of coal in a gaily wrapped box of lies.

Exhibit #2: The Emotions - What Do the Lonely Do At Christmas?

And if this melodic dirge of defeat and despair doesn't convince you, then there's no hope. If you read the lyrics without the lilting harmonies and soaring soprano, it's basically a maudlin manifesto!

If this ain't a cry for help, I don't know what is!

And the worst part, they don't offer any suggestions for what the lonely should do at Christmas, they just keep warbling the refrain in higher degrees of pain!

Just throw the songs away!

Christmas is Baby Jesus's birthday!!! It's a joyous time! My sweet, cherubic Savior was born, these songs don't reflect that, at all. They make me sad, these songs are better suited for route canals and court dates, not the birth of the Lil' Lilly of the Valley!

You wanna argue, let's rumble in the comments!